


Here's the thing about cats

by justmyownwriting



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Cats, F/M, Sickfic, Sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 15:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20155993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmyownwriting/pseuds/justmyownwriting
Summary: Diego and Klaus run into each other on the street and Diego makes him come stay with him and Eudora Patch. However, Eudora Patch has two cats, Klaus is allergic, and Diego doesn't know that yet.





	Here's the thing about cats

When Klaus was seventeen, he learned that he was allergic to cats. It was quite soon after he had first run away from the academy, and he was staying with some random friend he made. His family had a cat and it wasn’t too long before Klaus had to look for another place to live. His cat allergy didn’t affect him too often because he was mostly living on the streets, but it would pop up from time to time and he’d be wrenched into an unforgiving fit, but at the times where it wasn’t affecting him, he would completely forget about his allergy. 

Now he was twenty-five and he had run into Diego on the street. Diego had offered to take him back to the place he was staying with his girlfriend, Eudora. Klaus agreed only because he was starving and he had been sleeping on the pavement for the past few weeks. Diego offered for Klaus to stay for a few days so he could get his bearings together. 

The second that Klaus stepped into their place he knew he wouldn’t even last that long. There were two long-haired Siberian cats sitting in their own respective chairs. Klaus knew that if he told Diego that he was allergic then he would fuss over him and make a big deal out of it and that wasn’t something that Klaus wanted. He figured that he could just avoid the cats and blame his symptoms on a budding cold. 

“So, what do you think?” Diego asked nervously. It didn’t take much to impress Klaus but Diego was still proud of what he had accomplished and he wanted Klaus to be proud of him too.

Klaus nodded, “It’s nice. Where’s this chick you’ve been mentioning?” He rode right over the discussion of Diego’s place. He tossed his head back, laughing. “Oh no, she’s fake, isn’t she?” 

Diego rolled his eyes at Klaus’ teasing tone. Of course she was real. Why wouldn’t she be? Klaus knew that Diego got girls, right? He had to. He saw the provocative look in Klaus’ eyes and realized that he was just trying to stir the pot. He said, “She’ll be home soon. These are her cats, Pearl and Lucy. They’re really sweet. I didn’t think I’d like them at first just because Dad never let us have pets or even be around many animals, but they’ve grown on me.”

It was true, they had. Diego had never really been an animal person because, well, Reginald didn’t allow them. After he had been scratched by Pearl early on into his and Eudora’s relationship he became nervous around them, finding them a lot more unpredictable than humans. Diego didn’t like that, but he learned to read their behavior and he even able to start to like them. 

“Oh, that’s super. You gonna show me the rest of the place?” Klaus pushed for them to move out of the room with the cats, although he was willing to bet his nicest pair of shoes that cat hair covered everything in the apartment. His nose tickled at the thought. 

Fulfilling Klaus’ request, Diego showed him around the rest of the apartment. It was small but they had decidedly found ways to make it seem large. They made their way back to the living area slash kitchen to settle in. There was a large brown couch made of leather amongst a few fuzzy chairs–Klaus was eyeing it. If he was going to be forced to sit down in the living area with the cats then the leather couch was going to be his best bet. 

The pieces of furniture fit well together and the brown of the leather couch matched the color of the kitchen cabinets–definitely not a decision made by Diego. After spending so much time in different people’s homes and scanning quickly, looking for little things to grab, Klaus had become sort of an expert in home decor, and he had to admit, Diego’s apartment was very nice. He managed to stifle the few sneezes into silence throughout his tour and Diego didn’t bless him so he figured he was in the clear. 

The two boys were grabbing drinks and getting ready to sit on the sofa when the door opened and in stepped Eudora Patch. Diego smiled. “Hey, babe. Klaus, this is Eudora. Eudora, this is my brother Klaus.”

“Nice to meet you, Klaus.” Eudora stuck her hand out to shake Klaus’ so he played along. She had long and eloquent fingers with maroon painted finger-nails. Klaus’ pasty white wrist looked scrawny next to hers and she shook his hand with much more force than he had used. 

Klaus figured that Diego had called Eudora and given her a bit of a warning that his drug-addict brother was staying with them because if he hadn’t then Eudora was acting strangely calm. As Klaus came to think of it, Diego had stepped off for a minute when he was buying Klaus a meal after they had first run into each other. He had probably decided then that Klaus was going to stay with him and it would be better to warn Eudora sooner than later. 

“Have you introduced him to the ladies?” Eudora asked, gesturing to the felines that seemed to be guarding their living room. Their eyes lingered on him and it felt like they knew he had some sort of disposition toward them. He knew that it was just because he had been caught off guard by their presence and he naturally became a little nervous around cats because of the reaction they gave him, but every single time thus far the cats had come around rather quickly.

Diego rolled his eyes. He said, “Yes, I have. That’s what Eudora calls the cats, by the way.”

“Oh, that’s-hih-nice. Excuse me, forasecond-heh-” Klaus smothered two quick sneezes into his elbow, muffling them as best as he could. A third interrupted his attempt at an apology, after which Diego began talking before he could continue.

“Bless you. What should we do for dinner? I was thinking we could do pizza just so it would be easier for everyone,” Diego said. He knew that Klaus was low-maintenance and they wouldn’t have to go out of their way to get a nice meal prepared. 

Before Eudora could respond, Klaus was sneezing into his elbow again. “Sorry.”

“Bless you, sweetie. Yeah, pizza sounds good, Diego. Do you want to order it while Klaus and I get to know each other?” Eudora asked. 

Diego sighed uneasily. He had talked about his most rambunctious sibling to Eudora before, telling her stories of what he did when they were younger and occasionally dropping off the grid for a few days whenever Klaus dropped by for a place to sleep or an activity to pass the time. He had never mentioned the details of Klaus and how–literally–haunted he was, or the events before, during, and following an overdose. Klaus gave him a reassuring nod. That combined with the fact that Klaus actually seemed to be doing a bit better, Diego felt okay about it. “Not really, but sure.”

Eudora guided Klaus over to the couch while Diego went to the phone to order the pizza. Klaus hesitated slightly before sitting down across from the cats. He kept telling himself that he was fine and that he wasn’t that allergic. Still, his nose was starting to run and he had no option other than to deal with that one way or another. 

Klaus chuckled a little as he thought about how different Diego was from Eudora. 

“What?” 

“You’re just…not what I expected. I didn’t expect Diego to choose someone who’s actually good for him,” Klaus ran a slender finger against his nostrils. “You seem to…balance hh…balance him out, sorry.” He sniffled again.

Eudora tapped her colorful fingernails against her knees. She thanked Klaus for saying that and the two of them chatted about Diego for the next few minutes, with some intermittent sneezing from Klaus and blessings from Eudora. Klaus knew he was walking a fine line and he was only a few sneezes away from Eudora asking him if he was okay or if he was getting sick or if he needed some tissues. 

All Klaus wanted was to be able to ignore it and for everyone else to also ignore it. 

It was becoming harder and harder the longer he spent in the apartment. It became even harder when Diego came back into the room and shooed one of the cats–Klaus was pretty sure it was Lucy–off of her chair so he could sit down. Lucy pressed her head against Klaus’ ripped jeans and Klaus could feel himself tense up. 

“Pizza is ordered.” Diego smiled at Eudora and then turned his attention to Klaus. “After we eat you are going to shower and I’m going to give you some of my clothes to change into so I can wash yours, okay?” 

Klaus could’ve started crying he was so happy. All he had to do was make it until a little after dinner before he could get some relief. 

He let his guard up for a second and three quick sneezes made their way out. Klaus could barely sniffle before he was cut off by another harsh double. Lucy didn’t seem to mind. She hopped up onto the couch and curled up on the arm of the chair closest to Eudora. Klaus almost considered sneezing louder to scare the cat off.

“Bless you, are you feeling okay?” Diego quirked his brow and Klaus knew he had been compromised. “You keep sneezing.”

Klaus nodded as convincingly as he could while sniffling liquidly. “I’ll grab you some Kleenex.” Eudora stood up before Klaus could protest and she quickly pulled a box of tissues out from the cabinet under the sink. 

She handed the purple and pink cardboard box to Klaus directly and he took it as a light blush formed on his cheeks. Diego gave Klaus a look urging him to actually do something with the tissues and Klaus knew he had to comply or Diego would start questioning him further. He lifted a tissue to his nose and gave it a quiet, yet relieving blow. He folded the tissue, wiped his nose with it one more time, then held it in his hand. 

“Why do you keep sneezing?” He was wasting no time. 

“Diego!” Eudora scolded him. 

Klaus honestly hadn’t been expecting Diego to keep grilling him at least until he sneezed again next, but he had to deal with this now instead of later. 

He tried to shrug as nonchalantly as he could. “I don’t know.”

Lucy crossed Eudora’s lap and was now standing between her and Klaus. No one spoke for a moment. 

“Eudora, can you hand me the remote?” 

The t.v. was turned on and Klaus felt himself relax. Diego’s chair was closer to the t.v. so Klaus wasn’t in his direct line of vision when they were all watching the program. Carefully, Klaus held a tissue over his nose and let out two silent stifles into it. 

“Bless you.” 

Diego snapped back and Eudora immediately felt bad for acknowledging it. Klaus thanked her and the attention of the room fell back to the television. Over the course of the twenty minutes they spent waiting for their pizza, Klaus sneezed four more times and Eudora had only blessed him once. 

The pressure in Klaus’ skull was starting to build up and he knew that the next time he spoke the congestion in his voice would be obvious. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could.

The doorbell rang moments later and Klaus was hoping, no, praying that Diego would answer it but to his dismay, Eudora was the one that made her way over. Klaus felt the itch in his face blossoming once more but the last thing he wanted to do was compromise himself further when it was just him and Diego. 

He was doing well until Lucy bumped her head into his side, startling him, and his nose took the small window of time to jump into action. Klaus had barely opened the tissue by the time the first sneeze came. Three more followed, each paroxysm coming about three and a half seconds after the previous one, and each one allowed Klaus to clamp his nose shut with the tissue even harder. 

“Bless you,” Diego spoke dryly. “You’re allergic to cats, aren’t you?”

“N-nhhh… nooo…snf.”

Dramatically crossing his arms, Diego said, “Bullshit.”

“I have pizza!” Eudora broke the tension by lurching herself back into the conversation right when Klaus needed her the most. “Let’s eat!”

“Fine…but we’re going to the store to get Klaus some antihistamines as soon as we finish.”


End file.
